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I never thought loss would become my gateway into the higher realms. What I thought would break me instead cracked me open.
In April 2019, after 18 years together, I lost my partner Sonia to suicide, and my world and my life transformed.
For two years, I walked beside her through the darkest period of her life. When she passed, everything I thought was “normal” instantly disappeared. Her pain was finally over. And in a way, mine was too.
With her passing, the life I had known was gone.
At forty-four, I stood at the threshold of an ending that was also a beginning.
What do you do when life as you know it stops?
I was faced with the choice: shrink or expand. I chose to expand, awaken, and start again.
Suicide carries a heavy label. People rarely know how to respond or how to be around someone who has survived it.
Some thought I wasn’t grieving “properly.” Others said I was moving on too fast.
But the truth is, there’s no proper way. Yes, I carried the loss. But I also carried the light of a new life waiting to be lived.
Trauma initiates people into a spiritual awakening, and my loss introduced me to parts of myself I’d never met before.
What began as a quiet unravelling became, by late 2019, a full-blown spiritual awakening that launched me into a different dimension.
I began to meditate and threw myself into astral travel meditations and, later, Reiki training.
But sustaining that kind of opening requires grounding, healing, and integration. I definitely didn’t have that yet. I wasn’t ready.
All the light I touched only exposed the shadows I hadn’t faced yet. What followed can only be described as disguised madness.
Suddenly, I was in a new relationship, surrounded by new people and choices that felt exciting in the moment.
But they weren’t aligned with who I truly was. Red flags waved everywhere. Sometimes I couldn’t see them, and sometimes I chose not to.
There were some beautiful moments, but very quickly life began to spiral. Old patterns resurfaced. Everything I hadn’t healed started collapsing in on itself.
This second breakdown became my breakthrough. And then came clarity.
For the first time ever, I could finally see myself — and I didn’t like what I saw. This was not me.
After years of sacrifice for Sonia and a turbulent new relationship, I finally had the strength to say: NO MORE of this BS.
When my new relationship ended after almost three years, I finally understood: before I could truly heal myself, I had to hit rock bottom, be stripped back to the root, and begin to find my soul’s purpose and lessons in this life.
That’s when it hit me: the new partner I had said goodbye to was actually my greatest teacher.
She held up a mirror to my soul and forced me to confront wounds I’d been carrying since childhood:
My only way forward was stillness and complete surrender to heal myself. I had to face everything sabotaging my progress and clear it out, one step at a time.
With the recognition that I needed to face myself and clear out old beliefs, something new started emerging.
For the first time in my life, I started rebuilding myself from the inside out — not by trying to fix myself or chase achievements, but by learning how to be in a relationship with myself.
That meant listening to myself and putting myself first.
I let go of people and situations that no longer nourished me. The compassion remained — but now I live on my own terms, in relationships and friendships built on genuine respect.
To remain grounded, I turned back to what had always guided me: meditations, energy healing, and the spiritual wisdom I’d been exploring since 2019.
I began training again but now in Ascension Coaching. Then, almost by accident, I discovered the ancient spiritual technology of Kabbalah — and suddenly, everything clicked.
As I went deeper, truths began to align:
Spiritual mysticism and energy healing became my lifelines. They didn’t just rescue me — they reawakened something sacred I’d always carried inside.
Over time, these teachings evolved from being my refuge into becoming my foundation — the roots of everything I live and share today.
Today, through the Decode5D™ Collective, I hold space for those who want to transform — not just to change, but to Ascend and embody practical tools for living and remaining in 5D consciousness.
This journey isn’t only about healing; it’s about remembering who you truly are and awakening into the higher consciousness now unfolding on Earth.
We are transitioning from a 3D world of fear, separation, and limitation into a 5D Earth — a dimension of unity, love, and expanded awareness.
My role is to direct the collective cross that threshold with tools that bridge the spiritual and the practical.
Through guided meditations, energy alchemy, Kabbalah wisdom, and Reiki healing, together we rediscover stillness, clarity, and direction.
The path forward isn’t about forgetting — it’s about releasing victimhood, awakening, ascending, and remembering that everything happens for you, not to you.
For many years, my corporate path shaped me as a Change and Transformation Consultant.
Yet my deepest transformation came not from boardrooms or projects — it came from my own soul’s awakening.
After more than twenty-five years in business, I discovered a truth: real transformation doesn’t begin in strategy meetings — it begins within.
My work as an Energy Master in both Usui and Karuna Reiki, combined with the wisdom of Kabbalah and Ascension training, gave me the confidence to navigate life with 100% certainty and 0% fear.
The suffering I endured opened the door to my true purpose.
The journey was not easy, but every step carried meaning. Every challenge carried light.
I remain deeply grateful to every soul who has walked beside me — shaping me through pain, love, and presence.
Would I change anything?
Not a single thing.
With love and light,
Ivona
